Hello I am cd (crazydiamond) also known as "Babe". My real name is Julie or Jules. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder almost 13 years ago. I've suffered much longer than that with it in other stages. It's not easy to diagnose. It's a combination of Bipolar and Schizophrenia. I tend to stay with the Bipolar end of it. I haven't really "flaked out" in almost 6 yrs. I can see it coming and run for the antipsychotic meds : ))

I think because Schizophrenia has only depressive episodes and a lot of them, I haven't gone manic too many times. I would cycle between depression and some excuse for stability. After going through a childhood of what my mom would call "oversensitivity" (really depression) hallucinations and even some visual and audio distortion I began to "medicate thyself." I would drink to get rid of the undesirable feelings mostly since it went into a bit of remission between 18 and 26. My father died of a brain tumor in '88 and that began to trigger back a lot of things I thought I would never hear see or feel again. Except worse.

That's when the fun started. Its not always the first shot that you get the right pdoc and if anyone knows that, I do. I was even accused of "making things up" like really......ooooooooooh I want thorazine BAD. NOT. I finally got a really good, really nice pdoc and still have him as a doctor. I havent had a drink in 13 years.

No it wasn't easy but if I can do it anybody can. When I went into the hosp for the last "big time"I met my pdoc. I was on probation and newly sober. Big plate but I finished it. Took almost 2 months in the hospital but I lived, none the worse for wear.

I am going to be 38 in September, married 15 yrs the 4th of July, and my "kids" are on the pets page : ))
I will have a picture of me sometime soon.

Take care of yourself. Only you can and only you are responsible. There is no such thing as "normal"except in research and charts... just varying degrees of stability.